In a life of Social media (of which i surely partake of) full of glamorous pictures or well dressed people, selfies with friends and Pictures of delicious food and beautiful outings, there can be a disconnect of what peoples life are really like. Yea, there are people who are social butterflies and are always in party mode…but there some of us (Like my self) who tend to be on the more lonely side of things.
To be me or not to be me? (A Little personality background)
I, Myself, am a forced extrovert and a undercover introvert. In work and social settings, I can be very social and the “blend-able” life of the party if you may. I often feel forced to be that way. and sometimes avoid the situation as a whole. I am known as the cheerleader at my job! I’m always cracking jokes and making people laugh! I am my employees “Safe Place” and they confide in me with ease. I am definitely a Type “I” personality/management style…meaning that I use my Influence to win people over. What people don’t realize is that being lively and funny is a coping mechanism I use, and is sometimes draining- which can result in irritable moments. Now, I am a very empathetic person and I tend give everyone the benefit of the doubt…sometimes too often. I When I love…I love HARD. Connecting the introvert/extrovert with my management style, I can often feel alone in my feelings. I pour soooooo much into making everyone around me happy, I often get drained easily. In turn, I quickly learned that I need to be alone to recharge. I need Quiet. I need peace.
The Great Escape!
On a daily basis, I prefer to be with myself. If I’m really uncomfortable with someone, I try to find my own space where I don’t have to engage in mindless chit chat. I’m super conscious about people not offending people, so I play the part till I find an easy exit! LOL!!! There are many times I prefer to be alone and when I cant, I either seek refuge (My room or my office.just to breath and gather my thoughts) or I try to get really deep in a task (which in my profession, is a big NO NO!)
What I learned by being alone?
I learned, first of all, that I do get lonely. I learned that I yern for a particular energy and If its not conducive to whats going on n my life, I just deal with being alone. I learned that I also need to force myself to be more social so I can meet more people like me. I learned that every encounter is a numbers game, and at my age (Im not tellin..lol!) I dont need 30 “Friends”, I need a few solid “Sisters and Brothers” in my life. I learned I’m my best when not surrounded by drama (Work Drama included).
What about Relationships?
As I mentioned above, When I love, I love hard. This is an area that I’m working on. Many of us out here have issues with their significant other (Or lack there of) that could really benefit with some alone time. I am learning that I am building a stronger individual me. This is hard because (And this is me really opening myself up to your guys) I truly have my significant others opinions (or potential opinions) running in the back of my mind. This is the person who I just knew I was going to be married to by now…and most woman would have moved on. Not me. I have been told that It is a Capricorn trait or Loyalty (I know nothing about zodiac signs, and take them with a grain of salt). I know that in my ripe age of (Still not tellin :P) that I resolve to do things in my own time. I know that God will guide me and fill in every blank…and I have also learned in my alone time, that I will have to help God my making room, or there will be a continuous shift in my life. For now, I will meditate on me and slowly make changes for the better.
Feeling alone and being alone may seem different, but they go hand and hand. You have to BE alone to be able to understand YOU and love YOU before the right people are able to enter your life. FEELING alone results in you not wanting to do the work that self-love requires! So Find an awesome book to read, take yourself on a lunch date in a restaurant or coffee shop. Run a soothing bath, light candles and RELAX!! Learn a new skill or do a DIY! Curl up to a good movie and enjoy a glass of Vino! It’s ok to be alone with that fabulous person in the Mirror…YOU! Watch…when you get comfortable, you will draw those who are meant to be in your life!
Till Next time Dolls!